"Boy, did I need to hear that this week and last week - thanks so much for sending these out!"

"I have been feeling those newsletters lately about starting over. Your phrase “once is better than nonce!” runs through my head a lot. I continue to push forward, no matter how bogged down I feel."

Ahh, I understand. One of my favorite sayings, because it's true. Once IS better than nonce.

I was thinking about what dating is like at 60 years old. It's super interesting and reminds me of fitness. I'll show up for a first date, and some suitors have their questions all loaded up ready to fire. "What exactly are you looking for?", is a common one.

What's the vibe underneath that? "Don't waste my time...I'm running out. I can't take the thought of dating someone if I don't know for sure it's going to go somewhere."

Exhausting.

I watch people approach fitness in a similar way. We have to know how the story ends before we're willing to start reading it.

I don't believe that's how it works - in dating or fitness (or literature!).

We have to be willing to take a small step. One small step. That's it. What comes next is a mystery until we get there.

I don't know if I want to go on a second date until I've had the first date. For crying out loud.

And I don't know what the second workout looks like until I've had my first. How did it go? How did I feel? Do I need to adjust? Did it bring me joy?

Nothing can happen without the first one.

I read an analogy once about a car trip at night. You can only see about 150 feet ahead on the road, but you might be traveling 150 miles. The road ahead will reveal itself when the light shines upon it.

Once is better than nonce.
And it's also everything.

It is the foundation of all that comes after. Ask anyone in AA.

If you are stuck, all you need is one workout. One. Don't worry about the second one until you've completed your first. Step into the mystery. See what the road reveals to you as you go.

One day at a time. One step at a time.

Thank you for all the responses from last week's newsletter. Here are a few:


"I need to save today's message. Lots of good stuff in there. I won't be cutting my hair though!!! Starting over is very hard especially when all I feel right now is unmotivated. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with all of us."


"When I was sick in 2022 and was getting back to it, I felt the same way. Wow I had lost a lot of strength and stamina! Being 77 and building back up was a bit daunting! I was back to 3 lb. weights and had been up to 8-10 at the time we walked the 1/2 marathon. Now I am back to 5-6 lbs. and feeling good about it. There are days the 3's get used again but that is ok. My husband stole a line from Clint Eastwood when he would say, "You have got to know your limitations". But with that in mind I can and still DO. A lot of progress has been made, and I am pretty happy with that! But that is what a good trainer does. She knows you and understands what you are capable of on any day because she listens. And I am grateful!"


I thought both responses were very relatable. Lack of motivation and recovering from a lengthy illness are both difficult eras. So how do we move forward and find the fire again?


Here is what I did after my three-year injury. I identified one change I wanted to make. For me, that was gain muscle. I had lost a lot and I felt weak.


Here is where the change process comes in. Remember the change box? I stepped into it. That meant strength training 3x/week and increasing my protein intake quite a bit. Sounds simple enough.


However, I am a great example of "I know what to do, I just don't do it."


It took soul searching to remember why. Oh, yeah! A tsunami comes at us when we step out of our comfort zone and try to make a change.


It's loud. It's overwhelming. It's fear. It's lies.


Mine sounded like this. "It's too late. It's over. The injuries were too severe. There's no coming back from this. Your leg is held together by metal. If you try too hard, you will reinjure yourself. You aren't safe. Do you want to end up back in the hospital? Stay in self-protection mode. Stay in survival mode. Be careful."

Friends, just because I can hear the voice talking, doesn't mean I am supposed to listen to it. These are fears and lies disguised as security and protection.


In physical therapy, they call this "guarding". Muscles that surround an injured site become rigid and immobile.


For me, the antidote was to find the truth.


The voice of fear tried to get me to believe that the key to being safe was self-protection, becoming rigid and immobile. But the truth is, I am already safe. I trust myself to move my body.


The voice of lies tried to get me to believe that not trying was safer than trying and failing. Wrong. My surgeon told me the truth when she said to go live my life without limits.


The loud voice of overwhelm tried to get me to believe it was all too much. But the still, small voice knows how to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.


I had a sudden flashback to leading my seminar with the pink duct tape on the floor. I was standing inside the middle box. The change box. The tsunami was coming at me relentlessly. I had my armor on. Not the armor of self-protection. The armor of truth.


I have learned that those are two very different kinds of armor. One leads nowhere.


The other sets you free.

I got my hair cut off. Not a huge deal, except it was quite symbolic for me. For three years, my schedule was filled with doctor appointments, physical therapy and surgeries. Blah.


I had to mindfully conserve my energy wherever I could. For me, that meant not going to the hair salon every six weeks. I understand for a lot of you, that would be the last thing you'd sacrifice, but I felt very uncomfortable at the salon. Those chairs, the floor. I just stopped going. Occasionally, I'd flip my hair upside down and trim the ends.


The moment my surgeon said, "Go live your life", I wanted to cut my long hair off. It felt full of anesthesia, fear, and pain. Weird, right? I know. Like I said, it was very symbolic.


I made an appointment with a young guy named Josue. I'd been to him one time before, several years ago. I remembered him as being empathetic and fun. When I got there, I told him the story and he said, "Oh yes, girl. Your hair is holding a lot of that energy. Let's get you free." I loved that.


Snip snip. The cutting went on for what felt like forever. I made sure not to look. I wanted to feel the change. I wanted to shed layers. I did see the very large pile of hair accumulating on the floor beneath me. Buh-bye!


I strutted out of the salon feeling ten years younger and a whole lot lighter. I knew immediately where I needed to go next. The Canyon.


I'm still working on regaining my confidence on the trail, especially on the downhill, rocky portions. Therefore, I was getting huge waves of anxiety in my belly when I thought of stepping foot on the Grand Canyon trail. "That's OK", I told myself. Fear is good. Fear is normal. Feel it trying to protect you.


Get in the car and go anyway.


You guys - the moment my boots touched the South Kaibab trail, I was home. It felt amazing. For a minute. Then, I realized how dang steep this trail is. I felt an adrenaline rush in my chest and belly as I pictured myself falling. "That's OK", I told myself. You are safe. You decide your pace. Use your poles and trust your shoes.


I was a beginner again. Most people were passing me. "That's OK." I simply stepped off the trail and let them. I used the break to breathe deeply and get recentered, and to look around. I could see the trail miles below, where Marie and I had scampered along towards Phantom Ranch nine years ago.


I'm not sure exactly why, maybe it was the haircut. But it didn't bother me at all. I didn't feel weighed down by comparison of the other hikers, or my former self. I was too happy to be there, even as a beginner.


I am sharing this story because I have heard from many of you that you feel like you'll be starting over. I get it!! I truly do.


All I know is I had two choices. I could have stayed stuck in my head, where that anxiety was coming from. Or I could get in the car, put my boots on, take the first step, and trust that trail magic would do the rest.


And it did.

I received a lot of feedback from last week's description of Progressive Overload. My clients said things like, "This is exactly why I have you. I don't want to have to think about all that."


I get that. I've always loved being coached. It's especially helpful in fitness. Put me in an hour weightlifting class and tell me what to do -I'll do it. Tell me I am doing a good job - I'll work even harder.


But put me alone in the spare room or basement with a set of weights, and I'm a mess. Checking my phone, petting the dogs, cleaning things that haven't been cleaned in ages. Anything to get out of working out alone.


Here's why. Women tend to be more socially motivated in fitness settings. Group classes, walking buddies, and personal trainers provide accountability and emotional support.


I felt validated when I read that. It's not something that's wrong with me that I'm supposed to suck up and overcome. Ahh...deep breath in, right? It's normal for most of us.


We have had a ton of rain here in Arizona lately thanks to two big tropical storms from the coast. I saw a quick break in the weather yesterday and you should have seen me jump up, fill my hydration pack, and put my hiking boots on. This was never something I had to force myself to do alone. I love it and am pulled to it. I love hiking with others also, but I've not had to strive to go solo.


Do you have those things? It could be the garden that calls to you, or a walk at a metro park or with your dog. They are awesome.


Lifting is a little tougher. I feel much more pulled to lift in community, probably due to the emotional support mentioned. So how do we create connection and community for our lifting adventures?


Here are just a few ideas. Let me know what yours are.


🗸 Find a class! Silver Sneakers is free at many locations. My gym in Mesa has all the BodyPump and BodyBalance classes I want for $21.99.


🗸 Hire a personal trainer! This is such an awesome community of two, I cannot tell you. The accountability and emotional support are exceptional.


🗸 Try LYBU. You get three new recordings each week by me! It is a different type of connection, but it still works. I get emails every week from subscribers simply letting me know they did the upper body workout or loved the core workout recording.


Whatever it is you decide to do, please remember that it is completely normal for us to need accountability and emotional support to lift consistently. What an amazing combination. We get to build muscle, strengthen our core, improve posture and balance all while being encouraged and loved.


That’s how we make fitness a joyful, lasting part of life—where everyone feels safe, supported, and truly seen.