I'M READY, BUT HOW?
I have a picture that might help explain the very difficult question, "OK I'm ready to change, but how?"
What am I supposed to DO?
That is a point of confusion and frustration for many of my personal training and coaching clients. It's understandable, because there are a thousand different messages telling us how to change, what we need, what's missing, what to eat, how to move and what will finally make us feel good enough.
I like to imagine I am a transparent glass filled with clear water. Every fear-based LIE and false belief I receive into my heart is a drop of blue dye.
I will only be good enough when I am thin. Drop.
My worth is dependent on how much I have. Drop.
My past mistakes have gotten me too far off course. Drop.
Success is measured in terms of material reward. Drop.
It is too late to make a significant change in my life. Drop.
I will never live my purpose because I don't know what it is. Drop.
I don't measure up. Drop.
I am simply a sum of all my choices. Drop.
I am damaged, defective and I don't matter. Drop.
I am too broken to have any impact in this world. Drop.
The water in the glass gets bluer and bluer. This is my faulty belief system. One that is based on my works and my failures. It's a visual representation of my score card and blue = failing.
Many people believe the answer to "But, how!" is to pour the blue water down the drain. The problem with that is the empty glass. An empty glass with no beliefs in it is vulnerable to the next thing. The next quick fix. The next guru. The next self help book. The next diet. The next workout program. The next get rich quick scheme. The next lie.
My empty glass won't stay empty, yet it gets filled without me consciously and mindfully choosing what goes in.
That's how I lived my life for a very long time. I'd empty my glass, and it would just fill right back up with the same false beliefs I was living under before. Then, I'd repeat the same pattern, just with a different job, town, gym, house, diet, bank account, relationship.
I was constantly working, but never getting anywhere.
What I finally realized I was failing to do, was fill the glass with what I actually wanted to rule my life: authenticity, integrity, peace of mind, worthiness, purpose, joy, love, compassion and grace.
So I stuck the full glass of very blue water under the faucet and turned the water on. As the clear water poured into the glass, the liquid ran over the side. At first, it was all blue. Then lighter blue. Eventually, it ran clear. When I held up the glass, it was clear.
The false beliefs were gone.
The lies about my worth were gone.
But I wasn't vulnerable to the next batch of lies. My cup was full. I knew the Truth.
Who are you listening to for your beliefs? I was listening to the media, punks from my school, ex-boyfriends, magazines, political arguments, people from my childhood, and fear.
No wonder my water was blue.
I finally went to the Source for the truth. The source of my worth, identity and purpose. The source of love, peace and grace. Once I was filled up from the source, I could see the schemes for what they were, and keep walking.
Founder of LYBU, Specialized In Home Personal Trainer for Women 40+, Coach, Speaker and Author of I Know What To Do, I Just Don't Do It ©